Of Gingerbread Armies and Mistletoe
by DeathByIrony
Summary: Murder never was an acceptable holiday tradition, so Lussaria took it upon himself to bring a little Christmas cheer to the Varia. SqualoxBel


Christmas was not really something that most of the members of the Varia concerned themselves with. Most years, the members were busy with assassinations, because the holiday season had a surprisingly high number of requests.

This year, though, Lussaria had insisted they celebrate Christmas together in a wholesome family environment (because murder was hardly an acceptable holiday tradition, though many of the Varia members would disagree).

So Lussaria had quickly busied himself by decorating the entire mansion with anything and everything regarding the holiday season (save for the bedrooms of Xanxus, Bel, and Mammon, since he couldn't get past Mammons' illusions, and Xanxus and Bel were too damn scary).

Really, the only thing he wanted was for his team mates to have a pleasant Christmas.

Though with the Varia, it was highly unlikely.

xXx

The first thing Squalo noticed as he stepped out of his bedroom on Christmas morning was the overly pungent smell of pine. He had spent nearly all of last night clearing his room of anything resembling Christmas or any other winter holiday after Lussarias' crusade of holiday cheer, and was already quite sick of the smell.

Grumbling, he made his way into the living room to find Mammon wearing a Santa hat over his hood and looking incredibly irritated as he sat in Bels' lap. Said prince was, for once, not grinning, as his mouth was currently occupied by a fairly large candy cane.

"Voiiii, brat, where is everyone?" Squalo demanded, forcing his way into Bels' line of vision (or where he assumed his line of vision would be, since Bels' eyes were constantly covered by his fringe).

Belphegor tore his mouth away from the candy cane, which he then used to motion in the general direction of the kitchen. "Lussaria's in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies and Levi went out to find some undoubtedly ridiculous food item requested by the boss, who is probably still holed in his room hiding from the holiday festivities."

Squalo grunted as he seated himself on the other side of the couch Bel and Mammon currently occupied.

Suddenly Mammon inquired something rather interesting. "Why is there mistletoe hung everywhere? Everyone here is male."

Squalo looked about to find that there was, in fact, mistletoe hung in nearly every doorway he could see, as well as a few random places on the ceiling.

"S'cause Lussaria's a horny fag," Bel muttered around his candy cane, which he had relocated to his mouth once more.

"Says the boy who is tightly clutching me to his chest," Mammon said looking up at Belphegor with slight distaste.

"Ushishishi," Bel giggled, taking one of his knifes out of his sleeve and pressing the tip against Mammons cheek. "But you are not a man, you are a baby."

"Whatever," Mammon snorted. "I don't put out. Not for free anyway."

"Doesn't matter. No one would pay for you," Squalo interjected.

Before Mammon could make another comment, Lussaria burst into the room in a flourish; a plate full of gingerbread cookies in one hand and numerous colors of icing and sprinkles in the other.

"Oh, where are Levi and the boss?" he asked, setting the cookies and their unapplied toppings onto the table.

"Are we having gingerbread cookies for breakfast?" Squalo wondered aloud, completely ignoring Lussarias inquisition.

"Levi is out, and I'm not sure when he'll be back, and the boss is in his room and I don't think you'll be able to coax him out until dinner," Mammon said as Lussaria picked him up and set him on the table so he could reach the cookies.

"Ushishishi, stupid," Bel said, turning to fully face Squalo, now that his lap was vacant and he could freely move his legs. "You slept for too long, it's past lunch, you lazy moron."

"Vooooiiii, watch what you say, brat," Squalo sneered, raising his fist into the air.

Bel snorted and pulled the candy cane out of his mouth with a loud smacking sound. "Ushishishi, I bet I can make a better gingerbread man then you.~~~"

Bel stretched out his slender arm to take hold of a plain gingerbread man and some blue icing.

Squalo glared, and snatched up a gingerbread man of his own, accepting the challenge.

As it turns out, Squalo was rather talented when it came to the making of gingerbread men (because when he was a child, it was tradition in his family to make them, so he had experience, whereas Bel had never had a real childhood and never took part in such Christmas traditions).

After Squalo remarked that all of Bels' gingerbread men looked like burn victims and people with down-syndrome, Bel 'accidentally' took a bite out of Squalos' very best gingerbread man. This caused Squalo to squirt Bel with purple icing, which resulted in Bel throwing a fully decorated gingerbread man at Squalo.

This, of course, led to a gingerbread man war between the two, resulting in numerous casualties of the cookie variety (including most of the ones Mammon and Lussaria decorated, for which Mammon demanded compensation).

It also resulted in the entire room being covered in icing, sprinkles, dismembered gingerbread men and broken holiday decorations.

Afterwards, Squalo pretended not to notice Bel licking the icing off of his fingers in an incredably suggestive way.

xXx

Squalo had to say, the after-dinner portion of the day was by far his favorite. It consisted of celebrating Christmas in a way everyone in the Varia could appreciate: drinking.

Really, what better way was there to honor the birth of Jesus than to get shit-faced?

There wasn't.

Especially since no one was bothering him right now. Levi and Lussaria were busy harassing Xanxus (the reason, Squalo didn't really care about), Mammon was off somewhere (maybe he was passed out, since he was so small, Squalo figured his alcohol tolerance couldn't be that high), and Belphegor.... oh, god, he spoke too soon.

Bel was currently sauntering up to Squalo with a lopsided grin spread across his face, a pink flush in his cheeks, and a half empty wine glass in one hand (lord knows how many glasses the brat had so far).

Bel wrapped his arms around Squalos' waist and leaned into him. "The prince is bored. Entertain me," he whined.

"Voooiiii, get off of me brat. Go entertain yourself," Squalo hissed.

"You're standing under the mistletoe," Bel noted.

Squalo looked up to realize he was, in fact, under a bundle of mistletoe. "Voi, kid, don't tell me you--"

Squalo never got the chance to finish his sentence, for as soon as he looked down, Bels' lips were on his. Bel lifted his hips to meet Squalos, and Squalo could see (more like feel) why Bel was doing this. Belphegor always got a little... horny when he was intoxicated, but Squalo had never known him to do _this _before.

Squalo wanted to push him away. He really did, but voluntary muscle motion needed brain power, and it was kind of hard to think with the alcohol in his blood, and Bels hands in his hair, and his tongue in his mouth.

Squalo let out a low growl as Bel thrust his hips upwards, and Squalo found that his hands had developed a mind of their own as they did everything they could to pull the small boy even closer.

Their moment was broken, however, when a glass of wine hit the wall right next to Squalos' head. "Get a room, trash!" Xanxus yelled, looking rather pissed off. Lussaria and Levi stood by with flustered and disturbed looks painting their faces (respectively).

"Ushishishi," Bel panted, flushed in what Squalo now thought was a very cute way (though he'd never say that out loud). "We just might."

Bel immediately dragged Squalo out the door and into the hallway, leaving three very surprised people in their wake.

_'Alright, maybe Christmas isn't all that bad,'_ Squalo thought idly as Belphegor pushed him up against the door of an unoccupied room.

xXx

The next day, if anyone noticed that Squalo seemed considerably calmer or that Bel was walking with just the slightest hint of a limp, no one said anything.

xXx

AN: I don't know.~~~ this is my first attempt at a Varia fanfic. I just had to. I adore SqualoxBel & there is sooooo not enough love for it, so I decided to give it a shot. Now that I look at it, I feel like I made them a little too functional & not quite crazy enough. *sigh*

Review & I will love you forever! :D Really, I will.


End file.
